I feel as though once again, my life is about to start changing again. I have hit absolute rock bottom. Sometimes things have to get so bad before they can get better.
Broken marriages, broken relationships, broken friendships, and broken trusts. These are all things my life has now become filled with. Lies, deception, and a heart that still wants to love, but it needs to love me first. Right now I do not love myself and who I have become.
I am full of anger and regret for those I have hurt, and left in my path of destruction. I chose a path in my life that was most certainly not a good one, and now I have to pick up the broken pieces of my life and start over on the right path.
I have sinned, and lied, and now I pray to god for forgiveness. I am now learning to let the lord into my life, and this is a very slow process, but a necessary one.
I want to earn the trust of my friends back somehow and ultimately their forgiveness. I don't feel I deserve anything now at this point, but I do want to make an honest man of myself and put things right with me, my family, my friends, and the good lord. Only he knows the pain I have caused myself and others, and I am putting this in his hands now.
I love you all my friends.
As a reflection of my big change, I will be deleting alot of old posts and blogs (as well as the comments attatched to them) from MvM's World. I need to put alot behind me, and this place is an extension of me, and who I am going to become.
I will be writing again soon.
God Bless........
- MvM
